Thursday, August 31

Marriage: The Quest for Love and Mercy (Part II)

Forbidden Marriages
Permanently prohibited marriages
Permanent prohibition can be result of blood, marraige, or foster (breastfeeding) relationships. A man is a mahram to any woman who is permanently prohibited to him:
"And do not marry women whom your fathers had married, except that what has passed. Indeed, that was a shameful and hateful act (to Allah), and an evil way."
(4:22)
"Prohibited to you (for marraige) are you mothers, daughters, sisters*, paternal aunts, maternal aunts, brothers* daughters, sisters daughters, foster mothers who breast fed you, foster sisters, wives mothers, step daughters under your custody and born of your wives with whom you have had intercourse, but if you have not had intercourse with them, the wives of your sons who are your own offspring and that you simultaneously marry two sisters except what has already passed. Indeed Allah is forgiving and merciful."
(4:23)
*(including full and half brothers and sisters)
"And (also prohibited to you are) all married women, except those (captives and slaves) that your right hand possess. This is Allahs decree upon you. And are lawful to you all (women) beyond these, provided that you seek then (in marriage) with gifts from your monies, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse. So for those whom you enjoy (in marriage) from among them, give them their due compensation (mahr) as an obligation and there is no blame upon you for what you mutually agree (to give) beyond the obligation. Indeed, Allah is all knowing and wise."
(4:24)
"Indeed Allah has prohibited (of marriages), based on breastfeeding, what He has prohibited based on birth (or blood relationships).
(Bukhari & Muslim)
"One or two suckles do not cause prohibition".
(Muslim, Abu Dawud and others)
"Check (O Women) who are your true brothers, because breast feeding (that causes brotherhood) is that which satisfies hunger."
(Bukhari, Muslim and others)
"Breast feeding does not cause prohibition unless it expands the intestines (i.e. satisfies the baby's hunger) and takes place before weaning."
(at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, verified authentic by al-Albani)
Aisha (RA) reported: "It was first revealed in the Quran that, 'Ten known suckles cause prohibition'. Five of these were drpped and it became, 'Five known suckles cause prohibition'. This was the final state when Allahs Messenger (SAW) passed away."
(Malik, Muslim and others)
Temporarily prohibited marriages
A man may be temporarily prohibited from marrying a woman under certain conditions:
1) Marrying more than 4 women
"Keep four of them and divorce the rest."
(at Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and verified authentic by al-Albani)
2) Simultaneously marrying 2 sisters
"A woman may not be simultaneously married with her paternal aunt (to the same man), nor a paternal aunt with her neice, nor a neice with her maternal aunt, not a maternal aunt with her neice, not an older sisters with her younger sister, not a younger sister with her older sister."
(Abu Dawud, an-Nas'ai, verified authentic by al-Albani)
3)Simultaneously marrying Aunts and their neices
"One may not simultaneously have (as wives) a woman and her paternal aunt, nor her maternal aunt."
4) Women married to other men
Clearly expressed in the ayah of Surah An Nisa (verse 24). The same applies to a non-terminal divorce (1st 2 times) and is still in her iddah. Such a woman is still considered under her husbands charge and no one may approach her for marriage before the completion of her iddah.
5) Adulteresses
It is Prohibited to marry a woman who is known to be an adulteress or a prostitute unless she demonstratedly repents
"A fornicator does not marry but a female fornicator or polytheist; and none marries a female fornicator but a fornicator or a polytheist. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers."
(24:3)
"A whipped fornicator may not marry but one who is like himself."
(Abu Dawud, Ahmad, and al Hakim, verified authetic by al-Albani)
**(for other evidences please refer to the book)
6) Mushrik Women
A mushrik woman may not be married unless she embraces Islam.
7) Marriage during Ihram
"A person in a state of Ihram may not marry, be married, or propose to someone (for marriage)."
(Muslim and others)
8) Marrying a pregnant (war)captive woman
"One my not copulate with a pregnant woman until she delivers, not with a non-pregnant woman until she menstruates (one time)."
(Abu Dawud, al Bayhaqi and verified authentic by al-Albani)
"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not irrigate someone else's plantation with his water (i.e. sperm) and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not copulate with a captive of war until she purifies her womb (by menses)."
(Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi and verified authetic by al-Albani)
Ibn Umar (RA) said;" When a slave girl who has had intercourse with men is given away or sold, or freed, she should purify her womb with one menses. But a virgin need not purify."
(Bukhari, al-Bayhaqi and verified authentic by al-Albani)
Prohibited marriages of Jahiliyyah
Aisha (RA) said:
During Jahiliyyah, marriage was of four different types:
1) The first was like the people's marriages today, where upon a man would ask for another mans daughter or principal. He would give her sadaq and marry her.
2) The second was a man would tell his wife after she is clean from menses, 'invite so and so and get impregnated by him'. Thus her husband would stay away from her and avoid touching her until it became clear if she was definitely pregnant from that man. Once she was definitely pregnant, her husband may have intercourse with her if he wished. They only did that seeking a noble descent for the child.
3) The third was that group of men, less than ten in total, would all fo to a woman and perform intercourse with her. If she becae pregnant, she would wait until she delivered he child. A few nights later, she would summon all of them, and none of them may refust to go with her. When they had arrived, she would say 'You know what you have done and I have given birth, so this child is yours and so and so.' This she names whomever she wishes of them, and that man nay not refuse annexing the child to him.
4) The fourth was that a large number of men would go to one woman, and she would not reject anyone who came to her. Those were the prostitutes who raised over their doors flags as signs for those who wished to go to them. And if one of them became pregnant, she would wait until she delivered, summon all the men who had intercourse wiht her, and have those who specialised in detecting likenesses determine the man whom the child resembled the most so as to append it to him and he would not have the option to refuse that.
So after Muhammed (saw) came with the Truth, he revoked all forms of marraige of Jahiliyyah except for the marriage of the people of today."
Other Prohibited marriages
Marriage of Mut'ah
This is a temporary marriage, with a specified duration when the contract is executed. At the end of the term, the two spouses leave each other without divorce and do not inherit from one another.
"Mutah has been abolished by marriage, divorce, iddah and inheritance."
(Ibn Hibban, verified hasan by al-Albani)
"O people! I had previously permitted you to have women by the way of mut'ah. But indeed. Allah has now prohibited that until the Day of Resurrection. Thus anyone who has such women shuld let them go, and do not take any of what you gave them."
(Muslim & Ibn Majah)
Marriage of Tahlil
If a ma divorces his wife 3 times, he may not take her back unless she first remarries another man (2:229). If the second husband divorces her, she may then marry the first husband. The woman must have intercourse with the second husband before she becomes permissible to the first husband (if the second husband divorces her willingly).
"She does not become permissible for the first husband until the second performs intercourse with her."
(an-Nisai, Ahmed, verified authentic by al-Albani).
"Allah curses the one who performs tahlil and the one for whom it is performed."
(an-Nisai, Ahmed, verified authentic by al-Albani).
"Shouldn't I tell you about the borrowed billy goat? It is a person who performs tahlil. May Allah curse the one who performs tahlil and the one for whom it is performed."
(Ibn Majah, al-Hakim, al-Bayhaqi, verified to be hasan by al-Albani)
A man said to Ibn Umar (RA), " Is it permissible for me to marry a woman to make her lawful for her previous husband, even though he did not ask me to do it, and I did it without his knowledge." He replied:
"No! The marriage should only be based on real interest: if you like her you keep her, and if you dislike her you divorce her. We indeed used to consider this tahlil as zina during Allahs Messengers (SAW) time. And those who do it will continue to be in a state of zina if his intention was to make her lawful to the other man, even if they stay together 20 years!"
(al-Hakim, al-Bayhaqi, at-Tabarani, verified authentic by al-Albani)
Marriage of Shighar
This is when two men inter marry each others, daughters or principals without either one taking mahr. Thus, they consider intermarriage as the due mahrs.
"Shighar is that man would marry his daughter to another man with the condition that the other man would marry him his daughter. adn they would not require mahr in between them."
(Bukhari, Muslim and others)
"No shighar is permissible in Islam"
(Muslim & others)
Marriage with the intention of divorce
Some men marry for a specific purpose, intending to divorce her as soon as that purpose is accomplished. For exaple in the west, a foreigner may marry a native woman in order to obtain residency in her country and plans to divorce her when he acheives this.
If the marriage contract sets a term for this kind of marriage, it becomes a prohibited form of mut'ah marriage. If it does not the majority o scholars consider the marriage to be valid but the man to be sinful of deception through hiding the fact from her.
Marrying Non Muslims
The Rule
Allah (SWT) prohibited marriage with mushrik males and females:
"And do not marry pagan women until they believe (in Allah alone). Indeed, a believing female slave (of Allah) is better than a pagan, even though she (the pagan) might appeal to you. And do not marry pagan men util they believe. Indeed, a believing male slave (of Allah) is better than a pagan, even though he might appeal to you. Those (mushriks) invite (you) to the Fire, whereas Allah invites to Jannah and to forgiveness, by His permission."
(2:221)
Every Non Muslim is a mushrik. This includes People of the Book (Jews and Christians) if they worship anyne besides Allah (eg: Jesus or Uzayr) or hold other wrong beliefs about Allah (SWT).
The Exception to the Rule
Allah (SWT) made an exception to this rule by permitting Muslim men to marry Jewish or Christian women with an important condition: they must be chaste, not promiscuous, and have not previously had illegitimate sexual relationships with men.
"This day all good foods have been made lawful for you; and the food of those who have been given the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them; and (lawful for you in marriage are) chaste believing women and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you. When you have given them their due compensation, desiring by that chastity, not illicit relationship or taking secret lovers. And whoever denies the faith, his deeds have surely become worthless and he will be in the Hereafter among the losers."
(5:5)
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1 comment:

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