When they're gone...

Praise be to Allaah...

انّا للہ و انّا الیہ راجعون

Some of us are fortunate to have one or both parents still with us, for them and the rest, the following is a timely reminder. We may not really appreciate that none of us are gaurenteed for tomorrow, so to hope that this doesn't or won't affect us is a situation similar to the mouse that closes his eyes when a hungry cat stands before it....

SubhanAllah - probably one of the hardest things to think about is the thought of loosing someone dear to you... or seeing them suffer through illness...many people find these are the moments they loose faith and think "why me?" or "why us?", few accept it as the will and decree of Allah and remain steadfast, patient and hopeful that this mountain of a test will soon be conquered inshaAllah...
I've been there - so I'd like to share the following in the hope that you too may benefit today, or tomorrow from this advice....

If they are still with you, ask for forgiveness regularly, the last thing you want is for that seed of regret to remain planted in your heart forever as a painful torment and reminder or what passed...never hold a grudge, life is short - and you and I don't have a gaurentee who will be next, who won't be...give them everything you have in terms of respect, time, love, care and be with them in their sickness, in their happiness and in their despair...

These times may seem long, may seem hard, but if you haven't felt the loss, your in for the greatest of shocks ...

When they're gone, it's easy to say but "Sabr" is the one thing you have to have - if you don't have it - you have to find it...you see the tears can't fall forever...sooner or later your Emaan kicks in - you realise - you wake up ... and that is when you have to swallow that bitter pill, smile and remember the good times, be grateful to Allah and really start to do things for them....

Read the below to find out what you can do inshaAllah....from the smallest act of implementing something they taught you, and making dua'a for them...to building a well or making Hajj on their behalf...

Really, they're not wrong...you don't know what you've got till it's gone...but why look in despair when it has - isn't that too late... implement the following (see below) today...no matter what your position, and I pray that Allah will reunite you in Jannah, and grant you and them the mercy and forgiveness we all long for. InshaAllah....

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Allaah says in the verse (interpretation of the meaning):
“And that man can have nothing but what he does (good or bad)”
[al-Najm 53:39]
And Allaah knows best. Al-Muntaqa, 2/161

With regard to parents in particular, Islam regards the son as a source of his father’s earning good deeds. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The good deeds that will reach a believer after his death are:

knowledge which he learned and then spread;

a righteous son whom he leaves behind;

a copy of the Qur’aan that he leaves as a legacy;

a mosque that he built;

a house that he built for wayfarers;

a canal that he dug;

or charity that he gave during his lifetime when he was in good health.

These deeds will reach him after his death.”

Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 242; classed as saheeh Ibn Khuzaymah 4/121; classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi and al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb 1/18.

WHILE THEY ARE ALIVE....

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan (may Allaah preserve him) was asked:
What are the deeds that will benefit one’s parents, whether they are alive or dead?
He replied: These deeds are: honouring them when they are alive, treating them kindly in word and deed, taking care of their needs for maintenance, accommodation and other things, feeling happy to be with them, speaking nicely to them and serving them, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents”
[al-Isra’ 17:23]
especially when they grow old.

AND WHEN THEY ARE GONE...

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

"When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three:

sadaqah jaariyah (ongoing charity, e.g. a waqf or endowment),

beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind),

or a righteous child who will pray for him."

(Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no 1376; he said this is a saheeh hasan hadeeth)

ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS....

Prayers for forgiveness offered by both sons and daughters of the deceased bring great benefits, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

"A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he will ask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By your son’s du’aa’s (prayers) for forgiveness for you."

(Reported by Ibn Maajah, no 3660; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1617)

GIVE CHARITY...

Another thing that may reach the deceased is sadaqah (charity) given on his behalf, because ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) reported that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):

"My mother has passed away, and if she could have spoken, she would have given something in charity. Will she receive a reward if I give something on her behalf?" He said, "Yes."

(Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 1388)

Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the mother of Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) died when he was away from her. He said:

"O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died and I am away from her. Will it benefit her anything if I give in charity on her behalf?" He said, "Yes." He said, "Then I ask you to be my witness that I am giving my garden al-Mikhraaf (so called because it bore so many dates) in charity on her behalf."

(Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 2756)

Abu Hurayrah reported that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "My father has died and left money behind. He did not make a wasiyyah (a will); will it expiate for his sins if I give some of it in charity on his behalf?" He said, "Yes."

(Reported by al-Nisaa’i)

PROVIDE WATER....THE BEST KIND OF CHARITY...

Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah said: "I said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died. Should I give charity on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ I asked, ‘What kind of charity is best?’ He said, ‘Providing water.’"

(Reported by al-Nisaa’i)

PERFORMING HAJJ/UMRAH and FASTING...

Other deeds that may also benefit the deceased are Hajj and ‘Umrah on their behalf, after the living person has first performed Hajj and ‘Umrah on his or her own behalf.

‘Abdullaah ibn Buraydah reported that his father (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:

"While I was sitting with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a woman came to him and said: ‘I gave my mother a slave-woman in charity, and now my mother has died.’ He said: ‘You have got your reward, and your right of inheritance has brought your gift back to you.’ She said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, she still had one month to fast – can I fast it on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Fast it on her behalf.’ She said, ‘She never went to Hajj – can I perform Hajj on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Perform Hajj on her behalf.’"

(Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, no. 1149)

This shows that it is also permissible to fast on behalf of the deceased. Another thing that may benefit the deceased is to fulfil their nadhr (vow), because Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that a woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said:

"My mother made a vow to perform Hajj but she died before she could do it. Can I perform Hajj on her behalf?" He said, "Yes, perform Hajj on her behalf. Don’t you think that if your mother owed a debt you would pay it off?" She said, "Yes." He said, "Then pay off what is owed to Allaah, for Allaah is more deserving of having vows fulfilled."

(al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 7315)

SACRIFICE....

Another thing that may benefit the deceased is if his relative devotes a share to him of a sacrifice he offers. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) offered a sacrifice, he said:

"In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, on behalf of Muhammad and the family of Muhammad" (reported by Muslim, no. 1967)

and the family of Muhammad included both the living and the dead.

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Ref: Extracts from IslamQA.com ...